Ball of Nerves

Tomorrow is my first trimester screening. Honestly the wait hasn’t been that bad as we’ve been very busy. Unfortunately a lot of that busy was dealing with my grandpa who has recently had a couple of strokes (he’s now in rehab and hopefully will mostly recover). But some good busy too, a good friend’s upcoming wedding and a few fun summer days. Anyway, at long last the day is almost here.

I think I’ve spent more time wondering about what my results would have been had we chosen to do this with our last baby. We were just so happy to be pregnant that we didn’t even look into what testing was available. Had I known that this first trimester screening was just a really long ultrasound with some bloodwork, I probably would have done it.

Mostly I’m glad we didn’t do it because assuming our results would have came back “high risk” (our last baby had T18) we would have had to make the difficult decision on having an amnio or doing CVS. So I suppose it probably worked out the way it should have, but it would have been nice to have a frame of reference for how accurate the testing would have been for me specifically.

Obviously the nuchal thickness result is a big deal and obviously we are hoping for a “normal” result. However we also have another big hill to climb tomorrow, are our babies in their own amniotic sacs or are they sharing? If they have their own, they both have a MUCH better chance of survival (no worries of cord choking). My OB hasn’t seen MOMO twins (one amniotic sac, two babies) in 10 years, I told her I hope not to break her streak.

The actual odds of them being MOMO twins are about 1 in 100. So you’re thinking, oh well then I should be good, right? Wrong. The odds of having identical twins are 1 in 350 (done). The odds of having a miscarriage after 14 weeks are 1 out of 200 (done). The odds of having a T18 baby at my age (28) 1 out of 2500 (done). I’ve managed to beat a few other crazy infertility/fertility odds as well (getting pregnant without any meds after 2.6 years of trying) but this post can’t last all day. So forgive me that I tend to be a bit skeptical with odds as I seem to often be the exception. Even my OB laughed when I asked her what the odds of them being MOMO were, we both know the odds don’t matter when it comes to me.

Anyway, it’s just a big day tomorrow. I have already reminded myself that even if I get perfect results tomorrow, that still doesn’t mean I’m guaranteed two healthy babies. I’m such an optimist (ha!). I really am trying to stay positive though, I know good vibes are important for growing babies. I’m really trying.

So if you all have a spare moment, please cross your fingers, say a little prayer, or send me some good vibes for this appointment tomorrow morning. Thank you!

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